The Death Prep

Putting Affairs in Order, part I

Okay, so I guess I am competitive but only with stuff that is of no importance.  Playing bridge. NYT crossword puzzles, Jeopardy.  Definitely not with activities involving making money!  Anyway, now it seems that I'm competing with a deceased banker.  This all started when Cousin Howard, the banker recently died.  It was reported that his affairs were in excellent order.  This was the impetus to get my affairs in order - not just excellent order but magnificently organized order!  Not to be outdone by Cousin Howard, I want to insure that my children will be able to sing higher praises of the superiority of the order of my affairs.  The gauntlet has been thrown and the death prep begins.

(Note - I've actually written dying and not passing.)  You can say that I bumped or croaked but please don't say I passed!  Passed what?  The bar exam?  Passed go? Passed out because of not passing up the third martini? Would Faulkner’s novel, “As I Lay Dying” lose some drama if it were to be titled “As I Lay Passing”? Would Patrick Henry have made more of an impact with “Give Me Liberty or Give Me Passing”? Let me not digress. I think the point has been made.

Several trips to the lawyer later. The trust is in order, the will has been drawn, and the Trident Society has been paid. The Society will come to pick up the body and using some environmentally incorrect method some how turn the body to ash and return the residue to be put in the pre-paid urn. The urn is bio-degradable – it cost more. But what the hell, you only die once.

See you next week when part two of The Death Prep will be posted.