Toe Be or Not Toe Be

 

Toe Be or Not Toe Be

For want of a nail, the shoe was lost;

For want of a shoe, the horse was lost;

For want of a horse, the rider was lost;

For want of a rider, the battle was lost;

For want of a battle, the kingdom was lost,

And all for the want of a horseshoe nail.

She was young and beautiful and walked in with confidence. No, this isn’t the beginning of a Raymond Chandler noir mystery. This is a description of the podiatrist assigned to me by my health care provider. My provider is the one that urges its members to “thrive” as opposed to, I guess, the opposite “wither and die”. I don’t have x-ray eyes nor am I psychic, but I was sure that her feet weren’t ugly. My feet are ugly. I’m more embarrassed to show my feet than I would be to bare my sagging bum. Dr. Cool hardly looked at my foot and I’m sure she never touched it. I don’t blame her – I can hardly look at my foot!

In addition to not really looking at the foot, it seems as if she didn’t look at my file. It would have make her aware that I had had a bunionectomy several years ago. Nothing you want to do again, thus the visit to Dr. Cool She went on to explain to me the horrors of dealing with the hammer toe. The necessity of a bunionectomy which meant off the foot for 4 weeks, no driving for 2 months and on and on – bottom line a 6 month recovery. None of it true.

But…………...Dr. Cool let me know that there was another remedy with a short 2 week recovery time! Wow – did I ever perk up! Yes, they cut off the toe! I quickly came to the conclusion this was not an option for me. The only option was NO surgery. It was determined that the discomfort was caused by a callous on the top of the toe. Have you experienced callouses hurting? I never have, so one day I decided to dig around – the toe, not the internet. And guess what? I found a corn, did my own little surgery and voila! No more pain!

For the want of a corn pad a toe was lost! Almost, anyway.

Until next week.