The First One is Free

 

The First One is Free

My downward spiral into the sordid world of addiction began in the lovely town of Springfield MO. Started innocently enough, while I was visiting my dear friends D and M - names withheld to protect their privacy. I causally mentioned that I was hoping that I would be able to sleep that night and …...voila! I was lovingly given a little berry flavored gum drop – whoa, what a sleep I had! My addiction lasted three lovely nights until the little magic berries were gone.

Can anyone remember when all we wanted was sleep? This was when we had crying infants, sick toddlers, and worry over little Teddy’s social problems the first day of kindergarten. Oh SLEEP - we wanted it more than a lobster dinner, more than sex, more than winning the lottery! I remember telling myself that when my kids were in school all day, I would sleep all day - not the 20 minute power nap that I had when they were both napping at the same time.

Now, at 90 – another cruel joke! No problem going to sleep (earlier and earlier – probably because of being exhausted from spending time in the demon hours in anxiously solving world hunger and climate change). Also playing the dementia game, trying to remember names of dogs owned by neighbors in 1972.

As the German so aptly put it “So soon old, so late smart”. I’m old and it’s late but I’m finally getting a little smart. Hmm, why not time released sleep aids? Wow, the light bulb goes on! If the meds lasted all night, we would only take one. If they don’t last all night we take another. Two cost more, drug company makes more money. Those nice pharmaceutical companies would never put profit over our comfort……………...or would they? Cynicism is not becoming in an elderly woman but neither is naivety. Sleep well.