I Don't Like You!

 

I Don’t Like You!

This happened on the playground in my first week at my new school, the third school for me. And I was only in first grade. I don’t remember being shy or outgoing. I wasn’t particularly confident, I think that I was kind of an observer. Anyway, the girl who told me this followed up with “I was the smartest one in the class until you came!”. Whoa…..did I feel sad that she didn’t like me? No, not at all…replacing her “smartest one in the class” title, made me quite happy.

We actually became very good friends. We went to birthday parties, sleigh rides, ice skating parties and trips to the beach. In high school we double dated – my boyfriend at the time was a great date – good looking, funny and very nice to me. The best part of this is, I liked him a lot, but wasn’t madly in love so the angst was non-existent.

Because of a fluke, Judy graduated a semester ahead of me and went off to college. She chose Purdue because of the pharmacy school but I really think she liked the ratio of 8 men to every woman. She invited me to her homecoming weekend. Wow! This was exciting and scary and my first inexperienced experience with beer drinking. OMG – let’s just say I didn’t take to it like a duck to water!

I was in Judy’s wedding party, and then I got married and moved to the west coast and she settled on the east coast. We kept in touch somewhat and then out of the blue she called me to say she would be out to California for her son’s graduate school graduation and would like to see me. So, two old grade school friends spent a weekend together, over 40 years after our first meeting.

By this time we were both divorced and a little beaten up by life. She warned me the she didn’t look the same. And I asked, “who does”? But she really didn’t look the same – results of a botched face lift. Interestingly enough, my house in California was reminiscent of houses on tree lined streets in neighborhoods where we grew up. We picked up right where we left off – really close, old friends - lots of wine drinking and cigarette smoking and reminiscing into the night. Our heart-to-heart talks validated my idea of what friendship meant.

Our first meeting was over 40 years ago on a playground in Wisconsin and, what turned out to be our last, was in my home in northern California. Her life was charmed until it wasn’t. Her husband leaving her for her best friend and the death of her mother proved to be more than she could handle. She took her own life when she was only 53. Proof that another “truism” - one is only given what one can bear - is not true. Ironically, her favorite quote was by Robert Louis Stevenson, “The world is so full of a number of things, I’m sure we should all be as happy as kings.”

I still miss her.