Stress Test Stress

 

Stress Test Stress

Thrive! This is what my health care provider urges its members to do. Yes, it is a better option than withering and dying. However, I’m seriously considering telling my primary care physician NOTHING. She is very thorough and listens attentively to my constant complaints regarding the aging process. And….being a gatekeeper, she opens all the gates! Thus the stress test.

My facility covers a lot of territory, three parking lots to choose from. It would be helpful to know which of these might be closest to the chosen department. A logical solution is a map – map how trite. Oh and yes, there actually is a map of the facility - written in Mandarin. And not to be given to the patients – they are for the young volunteers. Young women who don’t speak Chinese and can’t read a map.

Anyway, I parked in an inconvenient lot and even after some wrong turns and false directions, I made my appointment just on time. Uncomfortably dressed in scanty hospital gown, blood was drawn, blood pressure taken, and I waited. And waited in a little alcove with light so dim I couldn’t read. I had looked forward to catching up on the New Yorkers, but instead, I just sat and thought of all things I could be doing if there were light. And of course, I stressed.

Interesting is that it seems as if young, perky nurses and aides find the need to talk to old people in a condescending way as if talking to a toddler. I almost asked if I would be getting a lollipop after the final shot. But let me not digress.

More blood pressure checks and on to the first trip through the tunnel machine. It could almost be relaxing if not for the frigid temperature and having to position your hands over your head for 15 minutes. Now the chemical that emulates ones heart after exercise, is administered and more waiting. But comfortably in a bed

Back to the tunnel machine for 15 minutes with hands above head, more blood pressure checks. Almost there and now comes the lollipop = stale graham crackers never looked so delicious and… coffee! My heart soars! Having had my nourishment, I weakly hobble to my car.

This was on the heels of an eye exam a few days before. The opthalmologist wasn’t patronizing, just curt. Told me that I could opt for surgery for my sagging lids – of course, they’re sagging. Everything else is. Wow, I can get the coveted and expensive lid surgery for free! Anyway, the alarming part of the visit were her parting words – I don’t think you have glaucoma! Huh, you don’t think I have glaucoma? Might this observation call for some tests? I haven’t decided how to address this. Should probably do this while I’m still able to see!

The good news is my heart is fine and, yes I do have one! My attitude towards aging is definitely not fine – I don’t want to give up anything, but alas, it seems as if giving up some things, a lot of things, most things is unavoidable. But seniors unite! We won’t give up the fight to still be hip after ninety!